Sometimes, I get really lost. I mean, I feel like everyone around me has their goals all set and ready to go. But where am I headed? Then I start to look at my past, maybe it will give me clues. Yet still, that’s just a jumbled mess awaiting for my therapist to analyze and make sense of. All there’s left is to keep wondering, as each day passes by. I do not share my confusion with others, because they do not understand. Some do, but it’s not like they really care about my situation. As long as they have it all figured out, right? It seems as if I’m stuck. Actually, it really seems like I’m running on a treadmill thinking that it’ll take me somewhere. However, these past few days, you have given me some peace of mind. All these distractions around, I haven’t gotten to step back and take a look at some of the small things I’m missing out on. For instance, waking up to a beautiful face of someone who loves me for me, no matter how complicating I get. You are not someone who tries to analyze almost everything about me. You are not someone who is trying to fix me. Ever since, I’ve gotten so emotionally fucked up, it’s like everyone wants to find a vulnerable piece of me and break it into small little pieces and make sense out of it. But you don’t do that. You don’t believe there’s anything wrong with me. When I talk, you listen. When I cry, you’re there to make me stop. When I smile, you’re the reason. When I laugh, you’re doing it too. You bring me so much comfort and security, it’s hard to believe that I have something special like this. Now I know that whatever story my future may turn out to be, you’re included in it. Knowing that makes me feel a lot less lost and scared.
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